I’m so fortunate to be part of this incredible team,
whose mission is to bring mindfulness to the world.

My path to calm

If you were to view a photo of me from back in 1985, you likely wouldn’t recognize me.

I was an angry punk rocker with black lipstick, combat boots, and a purple mohawk. My childhood wasn’t an easy one so by my teenage years I was rebellious and full of angst. My personal heros were Lou Reed, Sid Vicious and Siouxsie Sioux. I was agnostic, nonconformist, and essentially anti-everything.

So looking back, given how closed and defiant I was, it’s kind of a miracle that just a few years later, I had an openness to attending an 8-week mindfulness meditation course at an Eating Disorders centre. Maybe I was tired of experiencing mood swings and depression. Maybe I was frustrated living at the mercy of my eating disorder. Maybe I was desperate for a bit of healing.

So on one spring day in 1991, along with 9 other girls, I waited in a small room for our instructor to arrive. I knew little about meditation at the time. There were no mentions of it on the cover of Time magazine as there are today. My only reference point was the mental image of monks from the east who wore robes and chanted.

Our instructor arrived, a thin, unassuming man with brown hair and a soft demeanor. He quickly put us all to ease. “I’m not here to convince you of anything,” he assured us. “Meditation isn’t a strange or cultish activity. It’s a practice of developing moment to moment awareness, which leads to insight and peace.”

I raised an eyebrow, still skeptical, but decided to give it a try. The idea of peace was too alluring to pass up.

He guided us through a brief practice, and by the end, I felt some of my tension relax. It wasn’t as though my life had changed; there was no huge epiphany or instant healing. But I was able to taste a few moments of rare and elusive stillness. For me, that was enough to keep coming back.

There was no way of knowing it at the time, but this entry to meditation would set off a decades-long pursuit that has defined much of my life. Since that first sit, 30 years ago, I’ve continued to explore meditation practices and traditions, such as Mindfulness meditation, Vipassana/Insight, Shambhala, Zen, and Theravada and Mahayana Buddhist teachings. 

I’ve studied with meditation teachers such as Geshe Kelsang Gyatso, Gen Kelsang Zopa, Lama Catherine Rathburn, Virginia Hamilton, Michael Stone, Jon Kabat-Zinn, Shinzen Young, Jeff Foster, Jim Bedard, Randy Baker, Venerable Hwasun Yangil Sunim, Philip Starkman, Matthew Brensilver, Gil Fronsdale, Michelle Mcdonald, Steven Smith, and many more. I’m grateful to Pema Chodron, S.N. Goenka, Thich Naht Hanh and Anne Lamott for guiding my path.

I’ve always been a questioner, seeking answers to help navigate this rollercoaster of a world we live in. Mindfulness provided answers to some of those questions. And of course, this path of deepening in insight and equanimity is what led me to Calm, the meditation app where I currently work as Head of Mindfulness. Over the past six years I’ve built Calm’s content library and written and recorded the company’s meditations. It’s been one of the most rewarding professional experiences of my life. In my role with Calm, my goal is to make wisdom teachings accessible and relatable. I’m immensely grateful to be able to share the teachings that have assisted me in own path with millions of people all over the world.

And while I’d never claim that meditation fixes everything, I can honestly say it’s transformed my life. Over time, mindfulness helped me resolve my eating disorder, alleviate depression and reduce anxiety. It’s softened old trauma, and helped me cope through periods of chronic pain and insomnia. And though I still have a ways to go, habitual tendencies to release, and challenges to overcome, meditation has taught me to move through life’s discomforts with greater ease. In the darkest dark, I now trust that no matter how difficult or scary life feels, there’s a beginning and an ending to all challenge. Mindfulness inspires me to live more gently, openly, courageously and compassionately.

Life, in all its complexity, continues to be my greatest teacher; meditation, my home base.

As Elizabeth Lesser said, “One does not practice meditation to become a great meditator. We meditate to wake up and live, to become skilled at the art of living.”

I’m so grateful that we live in a world today, where meditation is no longer a taboo word. And that through books and teachings and apps like Calm, we can all wake up together.

Xo Tamara

Join Tamara for a 10 Minute Mindfulness Meditation

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If not, feel free to download it and give it a try!

At Calm we teach the skill of meditation and how to bring mindfulness into your daily life. Reduce anxiety, soften reactivity, and get more restful sleep.

I just finished my 158th session from the Calm app, and I feel compelled to be in touch to express my deep appreciation for your teachings. I have endured a severe depression over the past few months, and your guided meditations have been a huge factor in my recovery. Your voice is calm and soothing and I look forward to your daily lessons. Please keep doing what you’re doing!!! I hope that you get as much satisfaction from the teaching as I (and many others) do from your guidance.

– With great gratitude, J.B.

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Thank you for the year’s subscription to Calm.com because I am a teacher. I use it daily to keep myself aligned which in turn helps me with my students. I frequently start my classes with a calming breathing exercise. On quiz corrections/reflections kids tell me that they would like to practice more ways to redirect themselves when they get distracted. Your mediations are spot on. Often when I plug into the Daily Calm, a light shines on the exact struggle in which I wrestle: failure, uncertainty, forgiveness. You are teaching and reaching an untold number of people, Tamara. Thank you.

– A.T.

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 I LOVE your voice. When I hear it every morning, it immediately soothes me. I was introduced to Calm at a conference for the wives of firefighters in Boston. I am sure you can imagine the stress we face when we know our husbands are running toward the fire, accident, or disaster instead of away from it. Being turned onto Calm was a Godsend. It has proved even better than that when my husband was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer–a probable manifestation of his profession. Since August of last year, I have turned to Calm to find sanity. Often after his diagnosis, I just sat and cried with you. But, I continued to listen to your familiar voice, which drew me back to a sense of normalcy. So…I just wanted to thank you for what you do and for having that voice I look forward to sitting with everyday.

– L.D.

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I’ve been using the Calm app for the last 2 months because of feeling overwhelmed with stresses and needed to take 10 minutes at a time to release the tension. My stress was hurting me, my family, and my work. I’m a highschool teacher and have built Calm into my World Religions course as I find students suffering from a lot of anxiety and stress. It’s helping them too. I thought you might like to know how the good things you put out into the world are creating peace on a larger scale. Great job at making the world better and personally helping me find more peace.

– Blessings, M.M.

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Thank you for creating guided meditation for kids. I teach 5th/6th graders with autism and other disabilities. Halfway through the school year, I started using this app every morning. I noticed lower levels of anxiety and higher levels of coping skills within a month. One student with autism that struggled with serious meltdowns learned how to use his breath to self regulate his volatile emotions. Having taught children with autism for 15 years, I know how challenging it is for a child to change directions once they start to lose control of their emotions. So proud of this student. He is a different person with this new life skill. When school started this year, one of my returning students asked me on the first day if we were going to do Calm again this year. Can’t thank you enough.

– Marcia Dennis 

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Your perspective, your words, and your lessons have helped me tremendously through the most traumatic unimaginable moments of my life. I have been able to reclaim my identity and my strength with your meditations. Thank you for doing what you do. There are more people than you can imagine benefiting from your life’s work.

– Maddy

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